35 weeks pregnant patients should be nesting. Bustling around their homes making them ready for the screaming bundle of joy that’s about to arrive. This patient, Clair*, wasn’t in homemaker mode. She was in excruciating pain and couldn’t even lift her feet an inch off the floor when she walked.

Diagnosed by her obstetrician with an elevated relaxin level, Clair’s body was softening up early to aid in the delivery of her baby. Unfortunately with 5 weeks to go her preemptive hormone burst was just too much for her. Thankfully her Dr organised a bed in the midwifery unit and all she had to do was get there. Geography and weather conspired against her.

We arrived amidst a torrential downpour. Clair’s driveway stretched almost vertically and a steady river of muddy water coursed over its slick surface. Lugging the attendants bag up the hill I was exhausted by the time I reached the top. How on earth would we get the ambulance up to the patient? God I hoped she could walk.

It became rapidly apparent, after meeting Clair that she wasn’t walking anywhere let alone down the driveway. I sent my partner to solve the major logistical problem. How do you get a heavily pregnant woman down a very steep, slick driveway without letting her move. I just cannulated her and gave her a tipple of morphine.

From inside I could hear the roar of a straining diesel and the spinning of wheels. Shortly after my partner arrived with the bright orange wheelchair and the patient managed to struggle her way from the couch to the wheelchair.

We wheeled the patient out into the rain and down a steep hill at the back of her house. As we arrived in her carport I saw that the ambulance had made its way most of the way up the slick hill but couln’t get around the last bend up to the carport. The stretcher had been placed under cover in the carport.

Again the patient made the painful move. This time from the wheelchair to the stretcher. We then headed down the steep driveway to the ambulance. My partner was at the front and the patient’s husband and I anchored the other end. Slipping and sliding we finally made it to the back of the ambulance. I grabbed the yellow handles at the rear and held on to the stretcher while the other two manoevred it into the back. Made it. All we have to do is back the ambulance back down the driveway.

God bless four wheel drivers. The patient’s husband gave us a great tip. Pull the handbrake on a little as you back down steep slopes. It worked like a charm. I’m still sweating.

*not her real name